Maybe I shouldn't read what the Pharmacist gives me....

You know the information that comes along with your prescription that usually you just toss into the trash can? Well let me tell you something, that shit is scary to read!!
Let me enlighten you about the drug I started yesterday...Chantix.

CAUTIONS: DO NOT US THIS MEDICINE IF you are allergic to any ingredient in this medicine. How am I suppose to know? Luckily for me I am only allergic to okra plants, shitty drivers and polyester pants. Crossing my fingers they aren't in this medication. THIS MEDICINE MAY CAUSE drowsiness, dizziness, fainting or vision changes. It may also cause trouble concentrating,hallucinations, muscle cramps or seizures. These effects may be worse if you take it with alcohol. Whoa, are they saying not to drink....I could deal with the other things but really, they are taking it a little too far....bring on the seizures and hallucinations but don't take away my vodka. USE CAUTION if you drive or perform other unsafe tasks while you are taking this medicine. Unsafe tasks? Like diffusing a bomb, when standing in a deep puddle, blow drying your hair? Contact the doctor at once if new, worsened, or sudden symptoms such as depressed mood; aggressive, agitated, or abnormal behavior; personality change; thoughts of hurting other people; or any unusual change in mood or behavior occur. Mmmmm so if I feel the need to shank someone in the grocery store, just because, I might need to contact the Doc...that had a Jeff Foxworthy ring to it.....CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY if you experience behavior changes; chest pain; fast, slow. or irregular heartbeat; fainting; hallucinations; memory loss; new or worsening mental or mood problems ( eg. agitation, aggression, anger, anxiety, depression, nervousness, thoughts of hurting other people); red, swollen, blistered or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent nausea;suicidal thoughts or actions; trouble sleeping ;vision changes or vivid, strange or unusual dreams. Ironically the only warning on my pack of cigarettes says "Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide."